My Christmas Letter to the Mayor of Harare City

This is what I ask for Christmas...

Dear Mr Mayor,

Well since I do not believe in Santa Claus, and apparently you are the guy responsible for making sure people have Christmas in your town, I guess you will not blame me for directing my Christmas request to you.

I have been told by a little birdie that you have a “Christmas Cheer Fund,” sadly for me it has never brought cheer to me. I hope this year you can restore my belief in Christmas.

I understand if you are a very busy man, Your Worship; but I too want my share of Christmas. Do you remember the Christmas advert that used to be flighted on ZBC TV by Bata - the shoe company? Well my request is not that you bring back the quality that was at ZBC TV then, well that is before Professor Moyo dictated was it 75% or 100% local content. Maybe you might not have the powers to do that, but the kids in that advert emphasised that Christmas was a time of love and sharing and at the end the cute little Indian boy from Prince Edward School with a lisp said – “Bata wishes you a merry Christmas”.

I too wish to have a merry Christmas in 2014.

All I want for Christmas is not that you fix all the pot-holes in the city that are a huge menace to every road user. It seems your council has already failed us in that regard. We are kind of used to the pot-holes. Is it not that that what we Zimbabweans do- yes we get used to the raw deals we are served and just accept that it is part of being the proud Zimbos we are.

Do not even worry about providing us with safe public transportation for our commute to earn a living. Well you may not know this because I hear the council has bought you a state-of-the-art Mercedes and maybe you also got one of the rumoured 30 or so VW Amaroks acquired by the council since your council can rightly afford such luxury vehicles. Well the so-called Kombis that are transporting the greater part of Zimbabweans to their daily occupations are a scare to drive close by or worse still to board. They are killing so many people on an almost daily basis, people who are just trying to get an education or an income. But this isn’t what I want for Christmas so let us not worry about that for now. I guess you have a plan for us since there are some roads that have “BUS LANES” marked out and have become a good fishing spot for the police to further fleece unsuspecting drivers.

Lower Fountain at Night

I guess since you installed cameras on traffic lights you will by now have knowledge that the traffic lights are not working in and around the city most of the time so I will not ask you to fix the city’s traffic lights for Christmas since your cameras may have reported the need to fix those.

I will not even ask you what the plan to decongest the city’s roads is because I know even our President has once or twice been nearly caught up in the traffic jams we are subdued to on a daily basis. Getting to work on time and getting home when I desire are not high on my Christmas list.

Photographer Takes pictures of customers

Even if I did manage to get to work in time, I am faced with the vendors that are selling similar wares to what i am selling in my shop right at my door step. I know you are not to blame for the harassing “Software Developers” that are crowding the pavements shouting, “WhatsApp, Internet Settings, Music yese, Skype, Viber!” Nor will I blame you for the farmers from Domboshava selling their fresh vegetables in front of the bank, or the musicians with their loud ghetto blasters that are trying to counter piracy by selling their musical cd’s straight to the pedestrian in front of Topics Stores on First Street mall. They have always got me questioning how much they pay shop owners for commissions, but that is none of my business.

And didn’t the Sunshine City make local news and a few regional papers even carried the story of floods in Samora Machel Avenue? Well I hear someone from your office responded to those “Allegations” blaming the vendors for causing the blockages in the City’s drainage, because they are selling at un-designated spots. But where are the designated vending stalls; Your Worship? What a shame it would have been if Harare had been washed away because of these vendors.

My Christmas request has nothing to do with what happens at my home. Well, people have resorted to dumping their trash at un-designated spots (let me borrow that one from you). If the Isuzu trucks that collect trash miss a routine, I can’t punish my neighbours with the stench of my garbage. So don’t worry consistent refuse collection is not what I ask for, neither do I ask for constant running water at home, even if it is not clean enough for human consumption, well so at least i manage to use my tub or shower and not have water containers as part of my furniture.

Africa Unity Square Central Fountain with a feeble spurt

I could go on and on but since I am not complaining about life in Harare and in fact asking for a Christmas present, what I truly want for Christmas is that you restore Africa Unity Square to it grandeur. That is all I want for Christmas.

If you could for one more time fix the fountains so that they create the ambiance they were designed to exude, I will be one happy Hararian. I know I am not the only one that would love to see the beauty in that park. I see how on so many occasions people just stop to take a picture in the park when the have the chance to encounter its spray.

I want to be taken a picture like those taken in the early ninety’s with my arm rested on my thigh in the park with the beautiful fluctuating fountain spray in the background and the upper and lower fountains flowing with a capturing serenity. Just one more time Your Worship just so that they can be some festivity in Harare this festive season seeing hundreds, if not thousands of Hararians will spend their festive season in Africa Unity Square.

Lower Fountain During the Day

Another little birdie told me that Meikles Hotel had offered to fix the motor but someone greedy asked for the money instead. I need to believe in Christmas again Mr Mayor – may you bring me cheer this year, unless you are just another Santa Claus myth